Asian Heritage Month-Reflection

I’m Justin Lo, and my Cantonese name is Lo Chun Hei/羅振熹. I’ve just recently graduated from UVic with my BA degree in Economics. I myself was born and raised in Hong Kong and moved to Victoria in 2014 for high school, and of course, for university here at UVic. Having spent 14 years in Hong Kong and going into my 8th year here in Canada, I have a lot to say about what it means to be an Asian living in Canada.
For me personally, UVic has mostly been a place where I felt safe and welcomed. But that cannot be said during my first year and a half at the UVic Phoenix Theatre department. I’ve always been passionate about theatre since I was a kid, and I left high school with a vision that I would one day thrive doing what I do best. But reality fell short of my expectations, and my experience at the theatre department was not all rainbows and unicorns. One of the biggest obstacles I’ve faced at the theatre department was the lack of diversity, especially people who identify as Asians. Out of my entire cohort of about 48 students, there were only 4 Asians. Moreover, there was a lack of Asian representation throughout the department, whether it be students from other cohorts, faculty members, and even the productions put on by student organizations or by the department. It felt like I didn’t belong there, and I couldn’t see myself thriving in an environment where Asians are so poorly represented. But quite frankly, Asians have long been disproportionately under-represented in western films and arts since its inception.
I eventually left the theatre department one and a half years into my degree, and I ended up switching my major to Economics. Quite the contrary to the theatre department, it almost felt like Asians are over-represented in the Economics department, with Asians composing over half of my Economics classes. Here, I felt much more comfortable, knowing that I was not alienated in a class or even in the broader social sense simply because I was one of the very few Asian faces. I wanted to clarify that I don’t consider myself as someone with any forms of language or cultural barriers with my non-Asian peers as I’ve grown up in a bilingual (Cantonese/English) environment, so I am completely comfortable speaking or expressing myself in the English language. Furthermore, it must be re-emphasized that I did not receive any forms of negative treatment by anyone in the theatre department, but it was the overall environment that has eventually persuaded me to make the change.
With respect to the broader UVic/Victoria community, I have had extremely positive experiences with all my interactions with local residents, as well as people from all backgrounds. My lack of negative experience doesn’t necessarily translate to everyone else’s experience in Victoria who identifies as Asian-Canadians. As an international student myself, I’ve actually tried very hard to learn and customize myself with the Canadian culture. I remember watching IFHT’s “How to be a Canadian” Youtube video time over time before arriving in Canada (as a joke, obviously), but nonetheless, I’ve done my fair share of work to learn what it means to be Canadian. But as I grew older, and along with ever-evolving social atmospheres, I slowly came to realize that I’ve (almost) tried too hard to forego my identity as a Hong Konger to become what people expect of a stereotypical Caucasian Canadian. I found myself saying 'eh' or 'sorry' too much, I go to Timmies for a double-double more than I would to a bubble tea place, and most importantly, I found myself distancing from my mother tongue and my own unique Hong Kong culture. I am guilty in the sense that I would opt to communicate with my Chinese or Cantonese friends primarily in English because it was simply “easier” instead of making an effort to take a few extra seconds to type a sentence out in Chinese. I would try to conceal Chun Hei from my legal first name and instead of asking people to call me by my English name Justin.
I guess what I am trying to come across here is that sometimes Asians in Canada try too hard to conceal our own culture and our own identity to prevent ourselves from being discriminated against by Caucasians in Canada. We try too hard to pretend to be someone that we aren’t. I love Canada, and I’ve long considered Canada to be my home. But over the years, I’ve found myself trying too hard to distance myself from being lumped in with other Asians or international students, only then realizing that I myself am in an identity crossroad where I’m not sure whether I should consider myself as a Hong Konger, a Canadian, a Hong Kong Canadian, or an Asian Canadian. One of the best advice I could give to anyone is to be proud of who you are. Be proud of your culture. Be proud of your mother tongue. Be proud of your Asian name. Be proud of being Asian Canadian.
The world is changing, and as more emphasis are placed on recognizing the barriers Asians face in Canada, we must all take part to raise awareness of discrimination and hate crimes committed against Asians and Asian Canadians. We will not continue to tolerate being discriminated against because Asians are supposedly submissive and tolerable according to the model minority myth. As Asians, we should proudly say our name, use our language, celebrate our culture, and most importantly, speak up against any forms of discrimination that we may witness, whether it’d be in real life or in the digital world.